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Self-Care = Being Kind To You

The Holidays.... Oy! Such a mixed bag! If you are grieving, you may find that tears are sitting right behind your eyes all the time. That's OK You may find that a memory of your person brings you both a smile and a sob, a laugh, a warm feeling and simultaneously an ache in your heart in the shape of them. That's Ok too You may pull out photos, or that may feel like too much. Especially as time passes and others want you to 'move on' from sadness, not understanding the devastation, the scorched earth of your life without your person. And that too is OK And it is OK to tell others that of course you are sad. You may love them all dearly, and still feel the throbbing of grief. They are who they are and they are not your person, no matter how deep your love and gratitude for the others might be. It is OK to say your person's name and ask others to share their memories too. It's OK to want to avoid all the Holiday "Cheer" and it is also OK to throw yourself into the midst of it with wild abandon. However it is that you need to be...however your heart needs to express itself, even if that is isolation, do that. Until you no longer need that way but find yourself seeking another way. And you know what? In the same day you can both want and not want company and family. In the same day and sometimes in the same moment, you can laugh AND cry. Grief shifts and ebbs and flows and do yourself a favor....allow yourself to be with whatever arises and feel no guilt or shame. And tell others what you need. None of us are mind-readers and so not being afraid to ask is important. This is how you can care for yourself. Please take good care of you

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