How do you move through grief? How do you move through profound loss? How do you stay in integrity when you are thrown into the inevitable fire of change? I was fortunate enough to have had a marriage that spanned nearly 30 years...almost half of my life....that was dedicated from the beginning to something larger than the two people who said vows one early August day...including the Unseen Third. A marriage meant to embrace the Beloved as the Divine....a spiritual marriage. Love took many forms within those 29+ years. Sometimes love looked like forgiveness in the face of great betrayal. Sometimes it looked like two people who after many years would still stare into each other’s eyes and feel the warmth of an expanding heart...mushy with the feel of ‘new’ love...all heart throbby and filled with a Shakti/Shiva energy rising up the spine. Sometimes it looked like the patience of sitting on the couch playing guitar waiting for the other to be ready to leave for some place. Sometimes it looked like watching the other sleep and just feeling grateful for the Soul tucked safely away in that body. And then...on May 22nd...he got exactly his wish for how to die. He sighed out of his body from a heart attack, beside me in the car as I drove. I’m good in a crisis apparently. A cool head that did not panic...but remained calm....even as my heart sank deeper than it had ever sunk...an empty hole in the middle of me....the wind whipping through....and I accepted in my heart that moment that my life was now bereft of the Dream that we had shared together. So now... Wise Cracks is part of my journey I journal I blog here I let it ALL have a voice....my pain...my anger...my uncertainty...my joy...my sorrow....my life now...as I pick up the pieces and stitch together my heart and learn to live with all that we were...all that we are...in his absence. If somehow my journey inspires and serves you, as you read, then I have not only aided my healing....but have also given back from this loss in the way that David did...through introspection and writing as he moved forward in his own hard won integrity. I honor him thus. The words are mine...and the humor not so ready and goofy as h
is was...but hopefully your own perspective on grief and loss may be re-envisioned as well. I wish only healing for you too.
I am meant in this Lifetime to serve.
However these pages serve you...I am grateful for the opportunity
E ala E.....as they say in Hawaiian.... “This is the way of it”
